In a recent study, Gerhard Kloesh and his buddies at the University of Vienna reported that sharing your bed — if you are a male — could actually make you stupid. In reporting this critical ground breaking discovery the NEW SCIENTIST reports:
“while men thought they slept better with a partner, and women believed they didn’t, actually both sexes had more disturbed sleep… lack of sleep … reduced their (men) ability to perform simple cognitive tests the next day.”
Hmmm… why are we listening to these guys? The population of Austria is going down not up anyway…
Another article chronicles the combative life of couples who sleep together in one bed (gasp!) and spoon, snore, sheet steal and even sleep in the nude! One couple even slept on separate floors, maybe they are taking a few lessons from the Austrians here.
Sooo, what do the bastions of pure feminine knowledge tell us about men and women sleeping together? Well, dear Abby takes the firm position that it is okay to sleep in the nude and it’s fine if you don’t want to…. she can really handle the tough questions! Shhhhheeeesh! I did find an interesting blog of some gal in Boston, which… I think is near Vienna. She gives her 10 reasons women have for not sleeping in the nude. I think 10 cats go with those 10 reasons.
So, ‘Dear Dad’ needs to offer his 10 reasons women should sleep in the nude:
1) SLEEPING IN THE NUDE PROMOTES WORLD PEACE!
I thought that liberal women may go for this one… I mean… it couldn’t hurt.
2) YOU WILL ALWAYS KNOW WHERE YOUR PARTNER IS!
Most male ‘partners’ will stand ready with a blanket in case of fire, earthquake, congressional election or any other natural disaster. Motivated partners are extra attentive.
3) YOU WILL MAKE YOUR PARTNER HAPPY!
I have yet to hear anyone say,”oh my god, can you believe it? ….She comes to bed nude every night!”… hmmmm… I think I did hear someone say that once….. but it was in Austria…. or in Harvard Square or at a Kerry rally.
4) EVER WAKE UP WITH AN IDEA AND NO SCRATCH PADS?
A simple magic marker on the night stand is all you need. Now what can we write on?
5) SPOONING BECOMES A CONTACT SPORT
enough said
6) WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW…. IS LOVE, SWEET LOVE…
I think the Beatles said something like that and collectively, they have a lot of kids.
7) CONSERVATIVES ARE HAVING MORE BABIES THAN LIBERALS
They also don’t live in Boston or Austria…. and they don’t sleep with their cats.
8) VICTORIA’S REAL SECRET….
is the clothes never made it into bed
9) NIGHT CLOTHES ARE JUST PLAIN WEIRD
Have you ever seen the stuff people wear when they are running out of their homes at night because of an earthquake or something? Running out nude or in a blanket would be far less funny and far more memorable.
10) LIFE IS WORTH LIVING…..
Well, I hope you enjoyed my little ramble …maybe, someone in Boston can tell me if they shower in the nude?….. see you next time….
Roger Freberg
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