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What I am about to say is going to cause a number of very different reactions.

Allow me to advocate for a new and very special day called….. TAKE YOUR HUBBY TO WORK DAY!

Instantly, what goes through your mind,  ladies? Are you saying, “this is a great way for my husband to see and better understand my life?”… or…. are you thinking,” akk! he’ll see what I am really up to during the day! I gotta hide Sven the thong wearing cabana boy.”

My guess it is neither of those… but more on the side of…. hmmmmm… ‘let me think about that for a moment.’

I won’t go into all the details, but my daughters did spend time with me at work and Laura did visit with me as she could… but this isn’t about them… this is now about ME! In our ever changing world, visiting with your wife at work is a great way to see her in a new setting, better understand her challenges and do something positive for your relationship. If nothing else, it gives some background and texture to the stories she brings home each night.

Seeing each other at work addresses some real issues, the average couple spends less that 30 minutes a day talking to each other… and people wonder why their relationships seem to be rocky? So whether it is meeting for a regular lunch ‘date’ or spending time in each others workplace once in a while… the time together is well spent.

My Laura is a Professor, so it seemed only natural for me to take a day every once in a while to sit in her classes and play at being a student again. Hey, I actually learned something…. just ask me about ‘cranial nerve 8’! I have also had the opportunity to watch her interact with students, which only proved to me that she has ‘adopted’ a number of them….  Maybe I am looking through ‘rose colored’ glasses… but she never fails to impress me.

So, if you are not as able as my wife is to ‘take your hubby to work day’… what can you do?….  try to meet more often during the work week…. maybe over lunch. The atmosphere is more relaxed… and you’ll be surprised … and maybe, just maybe… you’ll enjoy yourself.

Roger Freberg

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Ranking up there as one of the top topics on the internet… behind sex, dating and marriage is the simple question:

“Can Men and Women just be friends?”

“when Harry met Sally” the underlying theme is exactly that… “Can two friends sleep together and still love each other in the morning?”.

The movie provides their own sort of answer… but people tend to respond to this question based on what they bring into the situation.

Here’s a few ‘answers’ to the question I found on the internet… but search the net for yourself… some of the solutions are very amusing:

1) I told him/her that I just ‘wanted to be friends’ because I definitely don’t want  to go farther with this person.

2) I told him/her that I wanted to be ‘friends’… because then I would have more access to them … and could bump the relationship up in the future.

3) I told him/her I wanted to be friends because that’s like saying,”let’s do lunch’, then I would never call.

I think the following is the best lines of the ‘When Harry met Sally”:

Harry Burns: You realize of course that we could never be friends.
Sally Albright: Why not?
Harry Burns: What I’m saying is – and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form – is that men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright: That’s not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: No you don’t.
Sally Albright: Yes I do.
Harry Burns: You only think you do.
Sally Albright: You say I’m having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns: No, what I’m saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: They do not.
Harry Burns: Do too.
Sally Albright: How do you know?
Harry Burns: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright: So, you’re saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns: No. You pretty much want to nail ’em too.
Sally Albright: What if THEY don’t want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns: Doesn’t matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright: Well, I guess we’re not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns: I guess not.
Sally Albright: That’s too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

Well, this all is a bit over the top, but for those of you who BELIEVE that men and women COULD BE friends… think of it this way, scientists have shown that men think about sex every 51 seconds… so some of the spare time could be used to think about making friends…

However, all is not lost, there are some environments where men and women work together and it appears that a good working relationship or ‘friendship’ evolves… such as in the army. However, it is important to remember that the penalties for crossing the friendship line in the military are severe… you can get kicked out for adultery alone.

So it really depends on what efforts are in place to support workplace discipline. To make this point clear my wife (and friend) Laura in her psychology class will say that almost any behavior can be modified or changed with the right reward and punishment scheme. Imagine — she says — that it is determined that illegal parking warrants capital punishment… students will respond saying,’well …. it’s only 25 miles…. and it’s a good day for a walk!’

‘Platonic friendships’ can also work bnetween men and women… but it requires more effort than most realize…. and usually the right environment.

Here’s what other folks are saying on this very popular issue:

MedicineNet.com
Psychology Today
from a Christian Perspective
Confused
from Cosmo

There’s literally a ton of stuff on the net… Google showed over 36 million entries… I don’t have quite enough time to view them all… but from my observation, it could be summarized that a woman would be fortunate to have the following real male friends in her life… 1) her husband 2) her father 3) her brothers and possibly 4) other related men. Outside of this small universe, I haven’t seen it happen.

So, for now, let’s just be friends.

 

Roger Freberg

 

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This was posted on an “Evolutionary Psychology’ list and passed on to me for a few laughs…
____________________________________________

MEN:

Men Are Just Happier People — What do you expect from such simple
creatures? 

 

 

Your last name stays put. 
The garage is all yours. 
Wedding plans take care of themselves. 
Chocolate is just another snack. 
You can be President. 
You can never be pregnant. 
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. 
You can wear NO shirt to a water park. 
Car mechanics tell you the truth. 
The world is your urinal. 
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.  
You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. 
Same work, more pay. 
Wrinkles add character. 
Wedding dress $5000.  Tux rental-$100. 
People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them. 
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected. 
New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet. 
One mood all the time. 
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. 
You know stuff about tanks. 
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. 
You can open all your own jars. 
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. 
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. 
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. 
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. 
You almost never have strap problems in public. 
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. 
Everything on your face stays its original color. 
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. 
You only have to shave your face and neck. 
You can play with toys all your life. 
Your belly usually hides your big hips. 
One wallet and one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. 
You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. 
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. 
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. 

No wonder men are happier.
_____________________________________________

Another Psychologist added in his post that ‘alcohol is 1/2 as toxic to men as to women.’

hmmmmm, profound comments, except….. I pay about $16 for a three pack of boxers at Costco…guess I paid too much?

Roger Freberg

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